Do you typically remember your first thought in the morning? My first thought was “brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.” Yes, I make sound effects in my head. Leave me alone.
A bit of history for you: I live in an old and drafty house. Said house is located in Minnesota and we get rather cold during the winter (and apparently into May). Combine that with higher gas prices than ever, add in The Unemployment experienced during the deep freeze and you get yourself into an expensive and difficult dilemma. My January gas bill alone was $328.00 and I don’t even want to talk about February. It’s just too painful. There was no way I could pay these bills in full, so I theorized that as long as I made a good faith effort towards paying the behemoth off I’d be all good. Every month I sent in 200 bucks and figured it would eventually even itself out during the summer months. In fact I stopped opening the little letters they kept sending because Hello! I know I owe you money! And I am all adult like that.
So the other day I got a phone call, wherein I was informed by the Gas Company that I was to be disconnected…
GC: You are to be disconnected.
Me: Seriously? I never miss a payment and I’ve religiously sent you 200 every month!
GC: MN law states that we can shut you off when winter is over.
Me: Ok but is this really necessary? It’s all going to even out over the next couple months!
GC: Ma’am I can take your 80 billion dollar payment over the phone if you like.
Me: I don’t have it!
GC: You are to be disconnected.
So at first I was all Oh My God! But then it dawned on me that A: It’s not that cold out anymore and the furnace could probably use a break. B: I’ll pay it up over the next couple months and I’ll just have em cruise out and reconnect me. C: Oh the nostalgia! I haven’t had anything disconnected since the struggle of my early 20’s! So I just decided it was all good. In fact in keeping with the nostalgia I turned out all the lights and lit candles as though the electricity had been disconnected too. Such good times to be had in my house people. Feel free to stop by and join me for a reenactment of the poor years anytime you like.
This leads us to yesterday morning. The morning in which the blonde remembers a teeny tiny bit of useful information. HOT WATER HEATERS REQUIRE GAS! And while I aspire to learn the whole cussing like a sailor thing, I confess that my first cold experience only drew an “OH!”
It was quite likely the world’s fastest shower. Also, I was solid goose bumps which does not lend itself well to shaving so I had to stay stubbly. I HATE STUBBLE and felt all cold and squinky and ever so wronged.
HATE YOU GAS COMPANY! HATE YOU!
So I thought about the months of cold showers ahead of me during the whole office commute and continued my pout fest as I stomped down the sidewalk.
And now we switch from cold and scratchy to warm and fuzzy! Because BWSNBN happened to be in the skyway and saw me pouting my way down the sidewalk! And once we both arrived he asked me why I looked so unhappy! And I made light of it but also whined a bit! And later that morning he said, “Hey isn’t your birthday this month?” And I said, “Yeah.” And he walked past my desk and threw 1000 bucks on it and said, “Go get yourself some water.” !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And isn’t that just the greatest?! And do you all just hate yourselves now for ever thinking poorly of him? And can we just agree that he never meant to hurt me and really does care?
And the gas company is due to arrive any moment now to turn me on (hee!). And then I plan to have a lovely warm bath and head over to HWSNBN’s (oh gosh! Does the H mean they are back together or is it a typo?!) to show my appreciation if you know what I mean. (And I think you do….)