It’s all about timing

It’s all about timing

So you’d think that being an empty nester and all that I would be out living a fabulous life. Doing all those things I never got to do while single mommying and such. But the truth of the matter is that most nights find me doing my hermit thing. Just lil ole m e sitting at home by myself passing time.

The other night started out no different than usual. The typical routine. Wash the dishes from the day (coffee cup and a fork…2 minutes down and an entire evening to go). Brush the dog and have the eleventy-seventh conversation about shedding when it’s still winter. Stare at the cell phone and consider actually calling someone and getting out of the house. Plugging the cell into the charger and walking away. Y’all know. Tres excitement here at Chez Emptynest.

So I sat on the couch and listened to the clocks tick. Because it’s ever so important to mark the passing of nothingness. And clocks are like shoes. There’s no such thing as enough of them. But something seemed wrong. I mean none of them have ever kept the same time but that’s beside the point. The usual soothing rhythm was broken. Instead of a tickety tickety tickety tock it was more of a tickety blonk thump tick. My clocks were maybe… ticked off?

Imagine my surprise at discovering that they were not ticked off but “Jaded.” Each clock I checked had been tampered with. Little notes were either taped to the back or sticking out of the battery casing.

I wandered through each room as though on a treasure hunt. This is what I found:

In the living room:

  • Time stands still for no one.
  • Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived.
  • Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
  • Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, it’s the only time we’ve got

In the hallway where I pace:

  • Don’t count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count.

In the kitchen:

  • Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
  • By labor we can find food and water, but all of our labor will not find for us another hour.

In the dining room:

  • Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. (Is he making an implication about my cooking here?)
  • You can’t turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again. (this was attached to a clock that I love that no longer works)

In the bathroom:

  • How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you’re on.

In the bedroom:

  • Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.
  • Love vanquishes time. To lovers, a moment can be eternity; eternity can be the tick of a clock.

Under the clock on the desk where I hide the book I’ve been writing:

  • Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.

Tucked into the jewelry box I keep old watches in:

  • Watches are so named as a reminder – if you don’t watch carefully what you do with your time, it will slip away from you.

Folded into the calculator/clock combo:

  • Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you.

Clock by the front door that actually keeps real world time so I know when I need to leave:

  • Better late than never, but never late is better.

Needless to say I had a great “time” discovering all these little notes. Also, I maybe have a lot of clocks? But when had he done this? How had I not noticed? And that’s when I remembered there was one more clock I hadn’t checked. The one Jade had given to me to celebrate me finally agreeing to have botox to turn back time. Attached was the “key” to how this had happened. My spare house key was taped to the back. And of course there was a note:

  • In good times and bad times, I’ll be on your side forever more…that’s what friends are for.

So. Let me waste no more time in telling you that I hope that you all make the most of the time that you have….and that you find a “gem” like my Jade.


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