Wendy’s List of Things That Ruin a Perfectly Good Temper Tantrum:
- Cell phones. You can’t exactly slam them down after you’ve said the perfect last word. And “I am so mad at you!” SLAM POW SMASH is ever so much more effective than “I am so mad at you!” click.
- Soft shut spring doors. These aren’t slammable either. And really. You should know you look like an idiot when you are shouldering yourself against the door trying to get it to just SHUT ALREADY.
- Years and years of thou shalt nots. Because you know gosh darned well it would feel better to just cuss, but if you actually DO then it completely ruins the tantrum. Suddenly you are being smirked at and then awwwwwww’d at and then hugged because golly it’s just so cute when you swear and could you please say that again? No wait..say THIS one. Hey where are you stomping off to? Can you at least swear while you do it?
- Tennis shoes. They ruin a perfectly good stomp. You should really wear heels at all times just in case.
So now y’all are thinking that I’ve had a wickedly fascinating temper tantrum that went awry aren’tcha?Well not so much.People I have become ever so boring as far as drama goes.
The closest I’ve gotten to an argument in ages was at the office on Monday.BWSNBN and I were finishing up an RFP for what would be an absolutely huge contract if we win.The proposal itself looked pretty amazing (if we did say so ourselves) and all we had left was to write the Executive Summary.So here’s where the slow burn of frustration begins.As far as wording and content it was all good…there was no fighting about this.However, he, has, a, passion, for, using, commas.
OK STOP. I know what you are thinking (I am psychic and such). You are thinking “Wait a minute here…Wendy? You are always and forever going on and on with the sentences that do not end that have odd punctuation and the like and you use weird slang and have a fascination for saying made up words and you love your prepositions and the dot dot dot…and you tend to not use commas when you really should and italics and funkified quotes and such.”
But that’s different!This is a blog people!Do you want me to be all grammatically proper and compliant?!?!Ok. I didn’t think so.
A business proposal is a different matter entirely. And I was RIGHT. And he was WRONG. And I am well and truly tempted to rename him B,W,S,N,B,N. But then after we overnighted the comma filled proposal he reverted to HWSNBN and we went to a fabulous little Chinese restaurant where I proceeded to be all passive aggressive and call him comma boy during the entire meal. So there.
In conclusion, may I just say, that if we lose this proposal, it will have nothing to do with content, or the billion dollar cost analysis. Oh no. It will, have everything, to do, with the commas.
In conclusion to the 2 nd : If this blog has bored you then you can just stomp away and slam stuff but it will be highly ineffective because REALLY all you can do is just click me off. Hee! “So I had this thing the other day and it really clicked me off!”
Today’s blog brought to you by the comma and a woman who still, has not, slept.