Stop being nice to me!

Stop being nice to me!

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You may have heard that I managed to shatter my phone on the carpet the other day. I’m quite talented. So anyways, I went through the whole lovely experience of calling the insurance company, handing over a ginormous deductible and was all excited to get my new replacement in the mail yesterday. BECAUSE BEING WITHOUT A PHONE IS TRAGIC!

Unfortunately, my new replacement turned out to be an old replacement with the lovely little refurbished sticker on it. Not surprisingly, my new-old phone has some issues. And as you might suspect, I was not pleased.

So I called the insurance company and they said I would need to call T – Mobile instead. This made no sense to me, but OKAY FINE.

With me so far? Angry Wendy. Ever so scary. Got it?

I jabbed the tech support number into my phone and prepared to be all kinds of badass angry customer at them…

T-Mobile Rep: Hello! Hi! How can I provide you with excellent service today!

Me: Oh. Hello. Well gosh you’re happy. I need you to fix my phone. It broke and then you sent me another broken one. And I’m kinda mad? And also really not happy?

TMR: Ohmigosh, that is SO frustrating. You must be such a patient person to even hello at me! Let’s take care of this for you Miss Wendy.

Me: Are you always like this on the phone? I’m trying to be all kinds of mad at you but you’re making it really hard.

TMR: Oh I know, right?! We have this empathetic customer training thingy but really, I’d be like this anyways. So you live in the mountains! How great is that?

Me: Well it’s great until you need a phone that works and you’re told to drive down the mountain to get it fixed.

TMR: OHMIGOSH that just makes so much sense and I don’t want to make you do that so let me put you back on hold and see what I can do– I know the music is just awful, but you just hang in there, K?

Me: Stop being so nice! I need to be mad!

TMR: You just let it all out while I put you on hold and if I hear anything when I come back I’ll pretend I didn’t, K?

Me: DARNITGOLLYGRRRSHUCKSARGH!!

TMR: I didn’t put you on hold yet. I’m still here.

Me: Oh my goodNESS! Sorry about that!

TMR: That’s you mad? Really? Is that it? I mean I wouldn’t even need training for that.

Me: Damnit?

TMR: There you go. Be right back…

*****really bad music here*****

TMR: Well hello again! I’m going to send you another new used phone! Hopefully this one will work! It’ll get there right after you leave for your vacation on Friday! Nothing I can do about that! And there are more charges! And before you practice bad words again just know that the charges will be reversed because you’ve been such a great customer! And have a great trip! And what else can I do to make this a great experience for you!

Me: Overnight me a brand new phone instead?

TMR: So sorry! You have a GREAT day. Bub bye!

Can you believe it? I mean how DARE they be so nice and understanding! It’s not fair!

 

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